Half in the Bag: Derivative Holiday Horrors

2023/12/30 に公開
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The holiday season may be sort of over (except for News Years) but the derivative holiday-related shit films keep pooping out of our TVs. Hi, I'm Porky Fartbag and I'm here today to tell you about Mike and Jay (aka redlettermedia) they do a show called Half in the Bag where they talk about movies. On this episode they watched three recent holiday films: It's a Wonderful Knife, There's Something in the Barn, and Thanksgiving. It would have been more appropriate if there was a News Years Eves film in there too, but such as it goes. While a murderous Santa or horror Christmas film in the 1980's would have caused a stir, today it's par for the course. What, with all the filthy p*rn, shameful home renovation shows , trash music, angry political programing, and TLC fatso shows; a killer Santa Claus seems quaint. However, people keep making these movies hoping to shock or catch a view. They cost very little and can squeeze out a few bucks via the streaming services and their satanic algorithms. Lost is art. Art is no more. It's metrics. It's actuary tables. It's core demographics. It’s titles needed for the streaming service content related algorithm. In fact, we kind of suspect that a computer made these movies for us. Thankfully though, 2023 might be the last year of movies, as I predict sometime in 2024 someone, somewhere will launch or detonate a nuclear weapon. This incident will cause a domino effect on the planet earth. No, not an all-out global thermonuclear war, but certainly chaos. Rebellions, mass migration, power grid failures, supply chain collapse, violent protests, starvation, mass murder and so on. Cities will burn. The planet will go dark and we will all long for a simpler time when we could watch a killer Santa Claus movie and share a laugh around the fireplace.